I am Drunk
A blog about discovering a God worth knowing.
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The Spirit breathes where He will, and you hear His voice, but you do not know from where He comes and where He goes; thus is everyone who is born from The Spirit.”
John 3:8 (Aramaic Bible)
The Spirit of the Living God moves about in amazing ways. I so believe in His movement to bring joy and elation. I’ve had Him move on me in laughter, even today, when I had a situation that wasn’t so apparently funny. It was almost like God found humor in something I thought was a big deal because I put so much stock in it. And with His laughter came my perspective change. I realized, maybe I was making a bigger deal of something, or at least I elevated its importance above the Lord’s concern. These moments have brought me great peace. If God isn’t worried about something, then why should I be? Somehow the laughter put into perspective that He’s my sovereign, All-Powerful God. It’s like popping the drama bubble. You know the one we humans tend to be so fond of escalating?
Also, as I’ve stated in past posts, the Spirit has moved on me in great holiness. The presence of holiness that makes you fall to your face and have no interest in getting up. God’s moving is a double-edged sword. You have to take His expressions as He chooses to bring them.
So I’m a big advocate in experiencing Him, however He wishes to reveal Himself. This is terribly vulnerable because God is most unpredictable. Actually, He is downright scary at times. But I choose to give HIM access, and that’s an open-ended yes that caters to His will.
At one time, I lusted after the drunken experience of the Spirit. This was the file slot I had allocated for Him. “Here, GOD, this is how I want You to move.” And again, as I’ve said in my past posts, He wasn’t interested in bowing to my demands. Then I became comfortable with His holy expression. That was typically manifested with repentance and tears. But it’s now my choice to open wide my heart to receive Him in any way He choses to move. I want HIM, so that means the choice is HIS.
If we relegate God to one expression or another, I believe we will be set up for delusion. If we say He’s welcome to come only in our elation, eventually we will become soulish and seek just fleshly satisfaction. That’s just the nature of man. Or if we only receive Him through the dust and ashes of repentance, we will become morose and introspective. We’re sheep and have to be led. I’m not expecting myself to be different; I’m just choosing to open my heart to Him and how He wants to express Himself. It’s our relationship but He is the lead. He’s my Shepherd and He’s up to the job of leading me.
I think we just get comfortable and then complacent with God. Whether it’s the joy-filled glee of God’s touch and loving of me, the penitent yielding of my soul to His beautiful crook of correction, or anything in between or outside of that expression, I want HIM.
It’s the goodness of God that leads us to repentance, and that goodness takes many forms. His touch is simply His expression, not Him. How He moves expresses who He is, and that should lead me to Him, not His expression. So I soberly proclaim, “BE, LORD, as You will to be!”
All the people of the earth are nothing compared to Him. He does as He pleases among the angels of heaven and among the people of the earth. No one can stop Him or say to Him, ‘What do You mean by doing these things?’
Daniel 4:35 NLT