After I embrace who He is in all His integrity,
I have to receive who-I-am
by His amazing description.

He who cannot lie, He who knows all
both past and future -
who knows the Real
above the Evident -
describes me . . . and you.

First, He claims I was not just with Him,
but closer still, IN Him on the cross.
IN Him in the grave.
When He died, I died with Him.

Strange and foreign, such ideas.
I must take them in as fact.
I will never understand.
Only as a child, just accepting the
higher unfathomable wisdom of the
Ultimate Parent, can I take it in.

Though I look alive, though I act alive,
I am dead.
The evidence is that I live, very much, I live.
But the Actual Fact is, I died.
When I believe it, it is so and I am separated from this
visible realm of the unreal to live in
the invisible sphere of the Timeless True.

And I am free of my dredging self . . .
of the grief and terror of this
Temporary Residence. 

He set me free from Eden by taking
me into the annihilation of its
effects in the marrow of my soul,
down to the code in my very cells.
Death and the grave, my liberation not my end.

To believe such an incredible notion,
I will have to believe that I need an exit
from my unholy self and from
this Tragic Place called earth.

As long as I prefer to live-and-not-die
I will hang in suspended doom,
in knots of helpless pain.

Should I hold to 'this life' and believe
it is mine, that it is best,
I will shun the "Gift of Death"
and live, dead to my destiny.

Death is His brilliant and unlimited solution.
Death is final. Death is total.
So by my death-in-His-death
I am completely free.
Untouchable.
Immovable.

So I live as one dead,
detached from my old existence,
shedding the chain and claw that held me
to continual and inevitable failure.

But only as a child can I possess it.
If I am intelligent and serious
I will not let that truth take me over,
I will require that it convince me first
and satisfy my measly reason.

I will wait for it to 'happen,' yet
fight its dominion.

No, I will never see the proof
of my death until I believe it by His Statement.
And by that alone. 

He said it. As I believe Him, I see that it is true
by the living experience of my freedom
from 'me' and from 'you' . . .
from ALL.

Death, that terrible dread is my liberation.
The friend of my hope
and not the enemy of my survival.

He says I am dead. Dead, I am then.
What about my aliveness?
Doesn't matter, ignore it.
I am dead.
He said so.

Copyright © 1999 Martha Blaney Kilpatrick